We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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