508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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