I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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