i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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