She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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