My hand turned me down
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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