Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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