Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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