He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We need to get me chipped asap
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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