ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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