I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize