Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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