I think I died a long time ago.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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