I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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