I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
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Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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