Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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