Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize