My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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