My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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