Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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