Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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