Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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