We won't sleep together?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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