I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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