he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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