Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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