You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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