I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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