do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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