I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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