you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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