and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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