Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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