Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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