I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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