Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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