so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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