i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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