So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize