you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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