i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize