Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize