i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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