i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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