The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize