this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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