I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it hurts more in the daytime
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize