I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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