he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize