someone owes me an orgasm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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